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Dark Shadows - eh, wait for the DVD.

Posted by Meaty McButcher on May 20, 2012 at 4:20 PM Comments comments (0)

I'll throw up a little background. We're discussing the 2012 film Dark Shadows, directed by Tim Burton and staring Johnny Depp. It was on the top of our summer movie viewing list. Johnny Depp plays the vampire Barnabas Collins who has escaped his chains (being burried in a coffin for almost 200 years) to unite with the current Collins family living in Collinsport, Maine during the groovy 1970's. He quickly realizes that the witch Angelique Bouchard (played by Eva Green) who has cursed him with vampirism (She still maintains her crush on him, but his heart belongs to someone else) is still alive and well in Collinsport. In fact, "Angie" has done quite well for herself in the fishing industry - nearly driving the once prosperous fishing Collins family bankrupt. It's now up to Barnabas to lead the Collins back to their rightful place in Collinsport.

OK, so it looked funny. I mean, it is Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, after all! I first started wondering if the film would live up to my expectations after catching a film review on NPR - yeah, I was flipping through stations. As I was flipping, I don't remember the exact reviewer for the film, but he was not rating the film very well. I figured this snobby NPR guy couldn't possibly be giving it a fair shake - eh, I was wrong. I'm not going to give a great (or, er, bad) film review. I'll simply make the case for waiting for it to come out on DVD. There is something like 2 to 3 love connections going on at one time - all with Barnabas Collins. It's hard to be "moved" by Barnabas' love stories, because very little detail is given. There are also a lot of other stories going on at the same time. Basically you are watching the movie and getting a general idea for what's going on and, BOOM, the film speeds up and ends in 10 minutes. It wasn't put together like what I expected. It was definitely cheesy - but not in that good way. You go away from the movie wondering who Barnabas really did love, and they leave it open to a sequel (oh, no!).

OK, so I don't think you'll like the movie. Hey, I could be wrong; but save some money. Wait till you can get it from RedBox for a dollar plus. It's just not the type of movie you'll want to spend theater money on to see.


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